The other day I got to see two movies back to back, that made me loose brain cells in troves.
I decided to use them as examples of BAD Fiction Writing. (BFW…hey! I come up with my own acronym!)
The first movie is
Eve of Destruction
And the technical notes:
OK. Why is this bad fiction writing?
First of all the whole premise is “You crazy science people shouldn’t be playing god!!”
Lame, boring and pretty much impossible to improve upon since Mary W. Shelley wrote The Modern Prometheus back in 1818.
But the real problem is not writing of choosing a over-abused topic, is writing about it using cliche’s.
The tone the writers of this miniseries chose to take is:
“Weird scientists are doing things beyond their control; greedy boss pushes them to take risks; throw in lots of mumbo jumbo jergon that doesn’t make sense, so the viewer will feel that those science-folk are pretty smart; and then create a bunch of special effects and have the science-folk attribute them to science”
Because they wrote this whole script using the term “science” just like an evangelist preacher would use “religion”
Line after line my brain was dying. So much that I managed to work on other projects while I left the movie on the background, just so I could, from time to time, shake my head and go “Who the fuck writes this shit?”
The quotes referencing science like a religion, a discipline, or a philosophy are so frequent you can make a drinking game out of this movie and get wasted in the first 1/2 hour.
At one point, after the crisis unveils, the singularity even acquires an evil sound effect, like the voice demons get assigned in horror movies when they take over a body. I mean, the singularity doesn’t talk (If it did, it should ask to be taken out of this turd of a movie) but the sound effects are just like the growling of satan’s butthole announcing a spout of diarrhea.
This is what you get when you try to make a soap opera mixed with scientific subject and have pens for hire write this stuff.
Even though I don’t want to ribb on Richard Beattie, the writer, when you look at his credits, the guy writes a lot of this lowbrow stuff. So again…
SPOILER ALERT you may want to read as to not watch this movie:
At the end, the bad executive flies off to Dubay because they have been building another machine like the one the caused the problem, the blue collar worker fixes the power line with a cherry picker and a screwdriver, and the science guys say:
“If the experiment blew up because or capacitors ingested the flux acelerator quantum particle thingimagic needed power….then we could reverse it….by overloading the jetengine particle quantum flux matrix venting gundam mazinger rely that orbit the nibiru state of flux.”
“But someone has to start it manually!!”
“NO! You will die of radiation!!!!”
“I have to do it! Tell my daughter i lover her!!!”
“I will stay here till the end”
FUUUCK… I just lost 15 more braincell recreating the final scene, and now my head feels like I sucked on a slurpee too fast!!!!
Seriusly, you owe it to yourself to watch this movie either as a drinking game, or as a learning experience.
Just don’t pay for it. DO not give your money to bad movies. Is like rewarding them. Get it by any means that doesn’t put money on the producer’s coffers. Otherwise they will continue making bad movies.
And if you watch it, and think: “This is not so bad…i liked it.” Congratulations! You are part of the problem of BFW!!!!
The other movie that remotely relates to this one is
God’s not Dead
Get the technical details here
Why did I started watching it?
Because I wanted to see if the Christian front had made any progress making decent/coherent/sense-making progress.
I regret to inform that, based on this movie, they still don’t.
All the bad reviews in IMDB are spot on, and very kind.
In my (not so) humble opinion, some christian movie production house wanted to masturbate its congregation by giving them a fluff movie, where reason went out of the window in lieu of just blind faith. Ergo, my reference to masturbation, because there is no other purpose than feeling good, and getting some release, just like jerking oneself off in the bathroom with a dirty magazine.
Then again, I always had an issue with the christian fundamentalist front who keep insisting in making the bible a science manual, when it is a spiritual guide.
Good people of faith (of any faith) would live in this world, improving their minds and bodies with knowledge, and still retain their faiths.
For example, the fact that god may have not created the world in 6 days and rested on the 7th doesn’t take away from the fact that geology teaches us a lot of wonderful things and god can still be center of our known universe.
Problem is when those waste-of-brain cells like Ken Ham and their cadre, try to twist science to fit their spiritual book, or worst yet, when whole sects like Jehova’s witness refuse blood transfusions because of some fundamental implementation of their religious beliefs.
So, this movie is for all those type of believers who need a few seconds of spiritual onanism (masturbation).