A comment on celebrity nude pictures and such

(Man, with that title, I wouldn’t be surprised if my blog generates a lot of “the wrong” type of traffic)

So, a couple of days ago, the web broke out with the news that a bunch of celebrities had their pictures hacked from devices and cloud storage and posted online


And, because my day to day job deals with security and technology, here I am trying to read the sources employed, the methodology, and how it happened, and all the posts, blurbs, snippets keep hammering on the horror of having your nude pictures stolen.

Let me bring up some points:

1) The internet is the wild wild west:

And that is how it is supposed to be. The internet is a series of protocols put together to ensure the perdurance of electronic communications and redundancy. It failed, because it is easy to break and terminate redundancy.

The internet is not for pussies, and is not for the timid. The internet is a meritocracy, where the more you know the better you are. The internet is not designed to keep you honest, nor to make you wiser, nor to make you happy.

If we (as a society) want that, then we have to invent something from scratch, like Internet 2.0, where identity is associated with registration, and there are some devices regulating traffic flow, etc….

But the existing internet is not for people to be safe. It is not for people to be secured. It is done solely with the purpose of transmitting. Transmitting whitepapers, documents, pictures and videos of cats, people humping sheep, human decapitations, copyrighted materials, manifests, pamphlets, and above all porn porn and more porn.

You are in charge, of learning your device and getting on the internet and being safe. There are some people out there who want to get into the internet and hack you or your device, and they live for it, either for profit of for thrills.

Any type of regulation is idiotic, and I am including anything such as the DCMA to whatever you want to include.

The internet (as it was designed) was not to be regulated.

2)   So… you got your naked pictures stolen… WTFC (WhoTheFuckCares)!

Seriously. You have a right to your privacy, and to your personal space and all of that. But from the moment that you take a recorded imprint of your persona, you are risking it being mismanaged and ending up in the wrong hands. It shouldn’t be like that, but then again, there shouldn’t be wars nor poverty, and they do exist, and those are issues much bigger and important than your naked ass.

True Story: Marilyn Monroe took some explicit pictures with a photographer when she was very young, to pay rent. Years later, she became a big star and the photos surface, and she went full truth with them: “I needed the money, and they were done in good taste. I have nothing to be ashamed of”.

But for crap’s sake! Throw a rock at the internet pond, and you will hit a stolen sex celeb tape, or stolen cell phone pics, or other stuff like that.

When you are in the public eye, people want to see your ass. I  am not talking from personal experience here, of course. Part of my everyday job is actually very involved in personal and cyber security, and I am exposed to so much human stupidity when it comes to social media that I am truly dumbfounded and end up questioning whether humanity, as a species has any right to exist at all.

Now, combine that degree of stupidity with strange expectation that equates nakedness with dirtiness, shamefulness, or nastiness. Improper behavior in general. Then you get people feeling that taking a naked selfie is something naughty… and having them stolen and seen is something shameful….

I am here to tell you, NO ONE SHOULD FREAKING CARE. And I am telling it to you from both angles. You shouldn’t care if any one sees you naked, and no one should care to see you naked.

This fallacy of us being prude about our bare image extends to so many aspects that it is hard to compile them in a single post.

But since you are reading, I will try, and so you won’t assume that I am writing them in any sort of order, I’ll use bullet points:

  • You are born naked, there is nothing wrong being naked. Period. I have nothing to add to this.
  • Some people are going to leer at you for being naked. Sure, and other will leer at your hair, other at your earlobes, other yet at your shoes. Get over it.
  • People are going to form a bad opinion about you based on your body image. Yes. Well. Screw them. Unless you made the conscious decision of paying your rent by showing off your body, then you shouldn’t care. You should never give a flying turd what others think of you. If you do, you are just being manipulated. Find a way of grow out of that.
  • The veil of turpitude that surrounds nakedness, and its usual association with sex, just promotes and reinforces the concept of keeping sex and nakedness secret and relegated to “naughty situations.” You are just feeding into ignorance, and letting the ignoramus win.
  • When you die, at one point you will be naked and in communion with the earth. Bringing the full circle to a close.

This is not to say you should go out running naked every Thursday night.  Depending on your geographical situation it could result in  a sunburn or frostbite. And the fact  that society seems to love hanging on to their old mores.

But I do advocate that you start putting your two cents into every conversation you have on the street or at work, or in family circles stating: If we were more exposed to this stuff we wouldn’t go around making it a scandal. THAT IS THE REAL SCANDAL!

Sex and nakedness is not something you abhorrent, nor despicable. But alas if we think of it as such, there is something wrong with us. I view it as clipping my toenails. Nothing horrendous, but I shouldn’t do it in public for health reasons, and I should try to do it without bothering anyone. Much like religious belief systems.

So no, I wont be looking at, searching for, seeking out the pictures of those celebs naked. Why? Same asnwer I give when they ask me: “Have you seen the Kardashians (insert name of any celebrity here)?”
No. Why? Are they looking for me? No? Then why should I give a rat’s ass.?


Here is my favorite pic to go with this rant.





Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s